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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

How to Catch and Kill a Lion

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How to Catch and Kill a Lion!! Just for Fun
Newton 's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is
equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due
to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get
tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has
proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell them that you
will upgrade it to Lion v.2 but only if you can come onsite!

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it
to accept that its a Lion. Now lets kill the lion...

Rajnikanth Method: Throw a cigarette into the air, and fire your
pistol. The bullet will ignite the cigarette, and then be deflected onto the lion,
killing it. The cigarette will fall into your mouth.

Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM
and kill it, while it's sleeping!

Mani Ratnam Method: Make sure the lion does not get sunlight and put
the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring
something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ektaa Kapoor Method (Director): Send a lioness into the forest. Our
lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the
forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the
second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send
another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand
right...ok .... read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method (director): Take the lion to Australia or US... and
kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days,
wearing pink pants and electric green shirts. After the lion goes blind seeing
you, make disgusting double-meaning jokes. After the lion goes deaf
listening to them, you can kill it any damn way you please.

Menaka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with
vegetables, all the while talking "caring about animals". The lion will
kill himself.

George Bush method: If the lion is a terrorist and has a lot of oil in
his control, link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him! However, if
he has no oil and is willing to sell his country to you, make him your
"favored ally".

Rahul Dravid method: Ask the lion to bowl at u. You bat for 200 balls
and score 1 run.

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